That silver lining.

Having a hard time today. Feeling really weepy. And sad. And confused. And angry.

Good God I've become a teenager again!

In all seriousness, no I have not. It's been a strange week. I found out earlier this week that a high school acquaintance passed away unexpectedly. I'm sorry for her family. But then it got me to thinking.

What if it were me? Makes you wonder. Not that death should be a popularity contest but still, who would grieve for me? That's easy. My husband and children. And while I'm trying not to have a pity party for my own problems, it's hard to remember that yes, these four people's lives would be drastically altered should anything ever happen to me.

I worry a lot about things. And yet, have NO motivation to change things. And that in turn, makes me upset. Which makes me turn to food. Then I'm lethargic. And while I'm inert, I worry. And may the circle be unbroken.

Grr.

It could also be that my husband snored like a jet engine last night. He's not feeling well but this night really is no different than any other. More often than not, I lose at least an hour and a half if not more of sleep a night due to his snoring. So I'm tired.

To fix that, I will be making the "office" into my bedroom. I will put the computer in the family room. I will create the room of MY dreams. Because a lot of my dreams have been put on hold due to my husband's new job.

I was angry at first. But now I'm trying to accept it and realize that I need to focus on important stuff now. Things like money, health, house and children.

Perhaps this move was better in the long run anyway. Making me focus on the big things that need to be changed instead of the things that won't happen for a while.

Wish me luck. Good luck to you too!